A couple times a year I will put an ad on Craigslist for a “real submissive”. Carefully wording it so that it attracts a certain kind of responder… the ones who are actively seeking guidance or have recently acknowledged they have a strong unavoidable urge to submit. This usually works but I still have to weed through the parade of fantasy seekers who read no further than “black dominant…”. Or in their minds, another BBC for them to ride.

This callous grouping of Black males as mindless fuck animals whom are hell bent on fucking any hole that shows an interest is tiring but predictable. I no longer get angry because its so pervasive. I give these people the same level of courtesy and attention that they gave me… and promptly delete their emails.

For me, the first sentence tells me all I need to know.

Submissives don’t realize that they sometimes treat Dom’s like a neighborhood library.  There to answer any question.  There to fulfill any and all desires without giving back in return.  Just saying you submit to Black is NEVER enough. Prove it… or get out of the way.

It was in late Spring of 2014 that I posted an ad seeking a “real submissive”.  As usual, I received about 20 or more responses of which I immediately deleted 15 due to the content.  You can always tell when someone is cut and pasting their replies to random ads.  That kind of laziness is the worst.  Always begs the question of “did you even READ the ad?”

Probably not.  Once they see the word “black”, its all about the dick.

Out of the 5 responses I did deem readable, two stood out the most.  I adhere to a first come, first response rule out of respect for those who actually take the time to write original, well thought out responses.  This particular email was from a guy who identified himself as “Stephan”.

Stephan provided an honest accounting of his experience.  Identified as straight yet feels he needs a male dominant figure to help him unlock his potential.  The first photos he sent were of him in panties.  From what I could see of the pic, it looked rather nice.  But I detest closeup shots that are hard to decipher so I demanded a body shot or a better photo.  He sent me one of him in a bath towel he claims was taken the morning he sent it.

I was still skeptical.  Although nicely muscled from dedicated visits to a gym, I kept thinking about his sexual orientation.  Eventually, I decided to give the benefit of the doubt so I asked for an accounting of his experience with BDSM.  He has served women and men (as couples) before in limited encounters.  He told me that since he is “better looking than most”, that men do not want him around their girlfriends/wives. This caused me to chuckle as he didn’t seem to understand why they would be so jealous. I explained that he probably made the men insecure if he was better looking than them.  Fearing their female would run off with him or something along those lines.  Human nature is human nature.

I was still conflicted so I changed my mind and decided to decline his request to meet simply because he was straight.  I’ve delt with straight men before and didn’t want to deal with another.  With the exception of a few, many of the straight men I have met have way too many issues to work out.  I simply no longer have the patience to deal with them as I did in the past.  If you want to be mentored, then you will pay for my time via unfettered submission or through my fee-based new mentoring programs.

But, Stephan would not give up.  He continued to beg for an opportunity to prove himself.  I stopped short of asking him how.  I decided to allow him to meet with me just so that he can figure it out for himself.

When he arrived and walked in the door,  I was struck by his physical beauty.  The man was definitely “better looking than most”.  Ridiculously good looking is what I would use to describe him.  I was impressed.  But good looks does not a great submissive make.  I had him strip and noticed he had on one of the panties he displayed in the initial photos.  His firm round ass fill them out very nicely and only accentuated his own assets.  I could tell he was nervous.  Very nervous.

I smiled.

I told Stephan to step forward so that I could inspect him.  He shivered as I ran my hands over is gym-toned physique.  Hard yet supple, each muscle yielded to my touch.  His skin was incredibly soft… almost feminine-like.

I told him to drop to his knees while I sat down.  I unzipped my pants just enough to show my underwear and outline of my dick underneath.  I noticed how much he was shaking again.

I smiled.

I then told Stephan to put his head in my lap.  He was hesitant at first but complied.  I told him to inhale deeply to take in my scent.  He complied… moaning a bit.

Grabbing a handful of his hair, I maneuvered his head so that his lips touched my cloth covered dick.

“Open your mouth and massage my dick with it.”

He started to do it then stopped.

“Sir, I need to remind you of our initial conversation where I stated that I wasn’t ready for any sexual activities.”

I ignored him and pushed his head back down into my crotch, once again commanding him to massage my dick with his mouth, through my underwear.  He didn’t say anything else and after some initial hesitation, became more enthusiastic about the act of mouthing the outline of my dick.

After awhile, I made him stop and turn around with his ass facing me.  I pulled down his panties and started massaging both fleshy globes with my hands.  He shivered again.

I took the opportunity to wet one of my fingers and run it along the crack of his ass resting on his anus. When I started rubbing around it in a circular motion,  he jumped up and stated again that he was not ready.  That he was uncomfortable with the direction this was going.

“What direction?”

Stephan blinked, then said “Sex.  I told you that I am not ready to go that far yet.”

“Yes, I remember what you said.  I’m sure you also remember that I originally denied your request to meet.”

“And I’m grateful for that decision, Sir.  But I was hoping we could ease into it until I get comfortable.  Maybe just modeling panties for you as I have in the past for other men and women.  Or just allowing you to feel me up.  But definitely not ready to do anything further than that, Sir.”

I smiled.

“Stand up.”  Stephan slowly stood and waited with his hands behind his back.

“You may get dressed.  You are dismissed.”

Again, he hesitated.  “Are you done with me for this session?”


He started to get dressed.  “I wanted to thank you for allowing me to serve you.  When did you want me to return to serve again?”

“There won’t be a next time.  You did not meet the criteria stated in my ad.  I appreciate your determination to earn a chance but ultimately, you came up short.  Sorry.”

Stephan looked confused but continued dressing.  As he walked towards the door to leave, he stopped and asked, “I did everything you asked me to do.  Was it that I was not ready to have sex with you?”


“Then I don’t understand why you are dismissing me.  May I ask why?”

“You did not meet the criteria as clearly represented in my ad.  I gave you a chance to prove otherwise and you failed to meet expectations.  It’s that simple.  I appreciate the time you took to come out but I’ve made my decision.”

“So it was about the sex?”

“I already answered that question.  Read my ad again and when you figure it out, you may contact me again.  I believe I dismissed you or was I mistaken?”

He left.

In early 2015, I posted another ad seeking “real submissives” and got the customary responses.  I noticed that Stephan had written me as well.

“Sir, I hope you remember me from last spring.  I was the sub who visited you for an inspection?  Well, I took your advice and re-read your ad.  I was angry that you dismissed me without providing a real chance to prove myself so I didn’t write back.  Later, I looked back at our correspondence and saw what you meant by not meeting criteria.  You must understand that the few male Doms I had hooked up with before were only interested in having sex with me.  They didn’t seem interested in helping me develop into a better submissive for them.  When I met with you,  I realize that I was not appearing as a clean slate but trying to top from the bottom and set boundaries that suited me.  Not you.

I have since met with other men who only wanted to focus on domination as a scene.  It was much better as they were straight like me and had no interest in sex.  I have gained more experience as a result but also realize that I do want more but only with a Dom whom inspires trust.  You are that man, Sir.  When I said I was angry you didn’t give me a chance,  I meant to say that I was angry at myself for failing to realize what I was doing.

I re-read all of our conversations and know now that you were testing me.  Allowing me to learn through example why I wasn’t ready.  Why you had declined to meet with me originally.  I simply wasn’t ready to submit and you were right.  I thought I could control you and the situation with my looks and body as I have with others in the past.  I apologize for my arrogance and hope you give me another chance to make up for my mistake. 

I will not waste your time again.  I promise, Sir.

Thank you for your time in reading this

Hopeful for another chance, Stephan”

Hmm, what do you think?

Do you think I should give him another chance?

They say you never get another chance to make a first great impression but there are exceptions.  Those rare exceptions usually have learned to represent themselves in a completely different way.

It’s never too late to reinvent oneself…


Real Encounters is a factual accounting of actual meetings between myself and curious or novice submissives. Most represented under Real Encounters were participants in my service and mentoring programs such as Weekend, Vacation and Travel Hosting services.