Of course, it is okay. More than okay. It is inevitable that you would have those feelings. A great amount of trust and attraction goes into giving your loyalty and devotion to a Dominant. There is no way that you can avoid having romantic feelings at some point… but you have to be able to handle them.
When my second slave fell in love with me, it complicated things because he started to forget his role. He started wanting a vanilla relationship where both parties are equal. That is not what I want at all. Tried the vanilla way a few times and it didn’t work out. I like the comfort of knowing my role and what to expect.
I do care a great deal about my slaves but that develops over time as trust is built. Once I know that my slave has my back and that I can trust him with my life… only then will I allow myself to feel more and invest emotionally.
My slave had to learn that it was okay to be in love with me but not to expect more than what I want out of the relationship. As long as the focus is serving and contributing to my happiness then all the rest will fall into place on its own.
You can have a loving relationship with a Dominant within the context of your original agreement for service. It will just be a different kind of love. In many cases, one more stable than the conventional one.
As with any relationship… there will be bumps along the road that will make you question your decision to serve. What you have to reconcile is your need to serve with your need to be happy.
… and yes, the two can coexist. Although one would think the opportunity to serve would satisfy all quadrants.
**(in response to a question from an online contact)**
*UPDATE: Found this old email from a sub who approached me for service and had a question about my blog post. He pointed out that I answered the question from a sub/slave’s point of view but not my own. Here is my response:*
“And your question about my blog post about love… is a fair question. One I purposely did not answer as the post was about whether or not it was okay to feel love from the submissive’s perspective.
I’m curious to know why it scared you. But I feel I know why. Each Master is different. We all want different things although some of us share the same desires. My view on love in a M/s relationship is this… it is inevitable. I do love my slaves. How can you not? A slave is the one thing in your life you have complete control over. The one person whom you can share everything with and know they have your back. I tend to feel love for my permanent slaves but that’s mainly because I feel deeply for anyone who is able to give me what I need. It’s not a “I think you are on the same level as I am” kind of love, no. It’s more like what a true union is supposed to be like.
You are happy in your role and I happy in mine.
We share mutual respect and love for one another and gain the added benefit of security in knowing we want to be there.
Oddly enough, many relationships are broken from the beginning because they don’t feel that level of a connection. How do you marry or link your life to someone you have little to no respect for? Or better yet, has little to no respect for their own life?
Just something to think about and I hope that answered your question. Love is a tricky subject as it’s always fresh, new and different with each individual. But knowing myself… if someone came into my life and wanted to be everything for me within the context of this Lifestyle, I could see myself letting that person in. It would be inevitable anyway.”
**The Master/slave relationship is the strongest bond out there once established. The strength of such a bond can never been known, until it is tested.**