My parents always taught me to never expect things to happen for myself. That only I have the power to create change and control my own path in life… and they were right.

When a sub disappoints me, I do not blame them for not doing enough to satisfy me, I blame myself for not training them to serve better.

When a sub disappoints me, repeatedly, I remind the sub that if they wish to continue with the opportunity they have been given, that I deserve and expect MORE from them. And that if they felt incapable of giving me MORE then it would be best to part ways. I refuse to waste my valuable time and effort on someone who will not give me theirs…

 

I am disappointed in you.
“But Sir, I tried my best Sir!”

Did you really try your best?
“…I believe so.”

Then it’s safe to say that I can expect nothing more from you than what you have shown me today?
“Yes Sir”

I am terminating your service, effective immediately. You may leave.
“But Sir!  I tried my best!  Please believe me!  I don’t want to leave your service, Sir!”

Did you really try your best?
“Well…I thought I did but I could have done better, Sir”

My decision still stands. Leave now.
“No!!!”

I know you did not just raise your voice at me.
“I’m sorry Sir…. I meant, no I did not try my best. But I give you my word that I will from now on”

Why?
“Why? Because… well…”

Tell me right now or leave.
“I want to become the best I can be for you, Sir. I want you to be proud of me. I need you to be proud of me.”

… … …

“Sir? …please…”

You may stay… for now… but I am not convinced.
“I understand Sir. I will work to prove to you that I value the gift of service you have given me.”

That’s the smartest thing you have said all day.
“Thank you, Sir… I meant every word.”

 

In my view, your performance is what defines you. The level of effort that you put into getting to know someone is what you are judged upon. Setting aside character flaws, personality issues and so on… if you do not have the drive to pursue what you want then you deserve EVERY SINGLE DISAPPOINTMENT THAT COMES YOUR WAY.

A sobering thought, isn’t it?

No one ever wants to admit to their own failures.
No one ever wants to concede that they did not do enough.
No one ever wants to face the fact that they need to accept their own flaws before expecting everyone else to…

No one is perfect. But you can strive for what you feel is good enough, for you. You do this by reinventing yourself every single day in order to become more than what you were before.

Doing more… to get more.