Black Sovereign University presents:

The Anatomy of a Dominant

I want to make it very clear that this series is NOT meant to be construed as a guide to becoming a Dom. I will never presume to know what a fellow Dom may want or need because we all have different tastes and styles.

With that said, I am approaching this topic as a conversion. Not a lesson. I want to share my observation with my fellow brothers who read this because pride aside, we all sometimes need a little “inspiration” to find the path we were meant to be on.  I got some valuable advice from Doms who had been in the Lifestyle since before I was born so I respected the knowledge they passed down.

Just as I honored the words of wisdom received through my parents, grandparents and any one else I respected.

RESPECT is what this Lifestyle is all about.

Respect for yourself and for those around you.

As a kid, my grandmother would always tell me that I have the potential to rule the world, if I wanted.  But, if I didn’t have all my shit together, why would anybody listen to what I had to say and take me seriously?  And, she was right. As Black men and women, we represent the future.  Honoring our ancestors with our own actions for ourselves and towards others.  We have the responsibility to show the world our legacy.  That we are MORE than the word, Black.

MORE than our physical features and attributes.

MORE than the labels that are wrongfully given based solely on assumption.

MORE than our past.

I remember how it was growing up in the 80’s and early 90’s.  You remember those days.  Watching our community descend into darkness under a cloud of crack, gang violence and other forms of black-on-black crime.  As a kid, I struggled to understand why my people chose to live with that “slave mentality”.  You know what the fuck I’m talking about.  The idea that if you’re smart and educated that somehow you are not “down and cool”.

That you’re not even black.

But, if you join everyone else and remain ignorant, running the streets; that you’re real.

Even though I grew up on the westside of Detroit in the upper middle-class neighborhood of Rosedale-Grandmont, I still experienced this tragic mindset.  My parents paid $2000 a semester to send me to a parochial school in order to shield me from the cycle of self-destruction that proliferated the DPS (Detroit Public Schools) system.  What they didn’t know was that half the kids that attended had already been expelled from public school.  So, I ended up associating with the same element they tried to keep me from in the first place.

However, I chose to stay away from that element.  I endured the taunts about trying to be “white” just because I paid attention in school and spoke proper English.  I pitied them because I knew where the hostilities came from.

It’s the same reason many of you probably don’t own your own shit (no offense, just being real).

Afraid of your own god given gifts.

I made the decision  that I wanted to become more than just another hood nigga running the streets.

I made the decision on who I wanted to be… all I did was ask myself one question.

“Is this what we paid for?”

My grandmothers words whenever she turned on the TV and watched a news report of gun and gang violence that claimed another young Black life.  I grew up listening to stories of what is was like during the early and mid 20th century as an African-American.  I was taught that family is about uniting, bringing together the young and the old. My youth was saturated with images of adults and peers gambling, cussing and fighting with each other. Disrespecting their parents and elders.  Women with little to no clothes on gyrating and prostituting themselves. Dignity was a big incomprehensible word.

My great great grandparents were slaves.  And they found a way to buy the very land their family toiled for generations, from previous slave owners.  Now, that’s the stock that I am made of… that all of my fellow sisters and brothers are made of.

So… what happened to us?

Do you know who you are?

What happened to the pride and the dignity?  What happened to the love and respect that our people once had for each other?  Where did it go?

And, how do we get it back?  …I’ll tell you.


We need you.  Your family needs you.  Do you understand what I’m talking about?

You were sold off and had no choice but now is the time to stay and take your place.  Now… starting right now.

It starts with loving yourself.  Never compromising with being who you are.

Embracing what you want out of life.

The greatest thing that I ever learned about being a Dominant is that YOU define what it means to be one.

Never let anyone tell you how to be you.

Whenever I’ve been asked what I bring to the table… I’ve always answered…

I bring ME.


Course Series:  Domination 100